Martina has been at it again! Here she tells us a real life event with Banana, her Labradoodle.
I’ve always admired Martin and his family’s services, but living far away I’m unable to use them as regularly as I’d like. I do however blame them completely for my latest escapade that has almost seen me in deep water and made my dog the laughing stock of the village.
I’ll start from the beginning. Belinda makes dog grooming look so easy, so I thought I’d give it a go.
I bought some clippers and got to work on banana, my labradoodle that’s the size of a horse.
He’s a labradoodle that moults and he moults a lot. He’s golden but can turn a red carpet white in seconds even with daily brushing.
From Mr Tumble…
Anyhow we settled in the living room, with something good on the TV and a fire in the grate just in case Banana’s haircut made him feel the cold. Banana already looked quite unique as when painting with my toddler the day before, we decided to give him multi-coloured polka dots knowing the hair would be cut soon after.
So I began, with the scene resembling the demon barber of Saville, fluff and hair flying everywhere, suddenly the floor was covered. In just a few short strokes, those layers of hairs through moulting had turned into think piled rugs that were impossible to remove.
The pet dander from hair close to his skin began to make us all itch, while some hairs were actually spikey, not at all what I’d expect. We dished out the varying strengths of Piriton and became committed to finishing the job but as I looked at the sight before me I wanted to weep.
To the Sex Pistols
I’d stopped as he had a Mohican from his head to his tail, yet this Mohican was dotted with pink, blue, purple and green blobs. The skin with little hair was patchy and bald in places. I thought I had a steady hand but obviously not.
Just at this point, the doorbell rang. Living rurally this is a rare occurrence on a Sunday. Without thinking I ran to answer it, with banana following behind.
Who should greet me but the RSPCA collecting money for mistreated dogs across the county? I will never forget their face as they were pounced on by a very friendly multi-coloured labradoodle that looked as though he’s caught a skin disease at the circus.
They didn’t say much about banana but it didn’t stop my heart beating wildly. I have a feeling he may be on their at risk register from now on!
Finishing the job I realised just how incompetent I really was, I should stick to my writing, as hairdressing for dogs is not my forte. I fed banana sausages and steak in a bid to apologise as I truly believed I had damaged his self-esteem.
The children, after seeing the results, raided their wardrobes for a T-shirt, so banana has been promoting One Direction for the past couple of weeks. Today he sits in my office catching the rays as the sun spills through the bay window, his hair has grown back and I can’t help thinking he’s due for another trim…